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Dungeon Crawl

What the lifestyle means to me, in real time. How I'm approached & how others I'v interviewed perceive their role in alternative choices.

My Friend "BoB"
Posted:Jul 21, 2008 7:34 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2017 10:22 am
12163 Views

Female masturbation. Perhaps I am behind the times, but this seems to be a topic too long kept in the drawer and still whispered about, under the covers, so to speak, as it’s considered much more “acceptable” when referred to in teasing banter related to those poor, deprived, long-suffering men who must “do without!” (Usually by those abusive wives who don’t understand a man’s NEEDS as he convincingly flatters the naive ‘other women’ on-line, on cam, in the club, or at work!) and in shocked gasps from NICE women (You know, the ones you would take home to meet your mother she has to KISS with those lips!) who wouldn’t DREAM of doing such a thing, since (cough) we have no sex drive to speak of, and (oh, year, RIGHT!!) men take care of all our “needs” so we are never left (double cough) wanting, needing a THING, or in any way…frustrated!!! (Trying REALLY hard to keep a straight face here!)

Now look, I don’t know if it’s just ME out here in the real world, or if maybe there are other women who have experienced the “10 second fore-play or massage” and incredulous look when we fail to…uhhhh….get ours, like we didn’t work hard enough or something! (One raised eye-brow and half smirk, as if to say, well…I got MINE, you mean you didn’t? What did you expect ME to do about it, expression?) This especially seems to be the case the longer you are in a relationship and the more “comfortable” your (clears her throat) gentleman is with sharing his….errrr…..momentary lapses into premature ejaculatory laziness, rolling over, (away from the wet spot, of course!) and returning to the “game” (be it video or the NBA) and his sandwich, which he somehow managed to rouse himself to make during half-time! (Oh, yeah, and did you want something, honey? Sorry ‘bout that…) “Yes, as a matter of fact I did want something hunny,” In sickly sweet tones with a smile that could melt butter in my mind, “I wanted you to keep your ass in the kitchen about 15 minutes longer, so I could…take care of a few things before you got back without bruising your precious male ego!!! Now, please excuse me while I go, ummmm…freshen up in the bathroom with the hand held shower-massager (that may get cold but never gets “soft,” for those women who haven’t discovered her tools of survival yet, remember the unbalanced washer on spin-cycle.) “Just finishing up a load of laundry, sweetie!” (blink…pause…blink)

Ladies, I don’t know about you but I have not mastered the art of “sharing” my masturbating self with anyone other than (deep blush) my pussy-cat! (He sits on the bed and licks himself like nothing is happening! Hehe) As corny and 50’s as that sounds, I seem to have this phobia about pleasuring myself in front of anybody else (usually I pull the sheet over me, so I don’t have to watch!) as ingrained as needing to “please” is to my nature, pleasuring MYSELF is still something that smacks on taboo. Blow-job? Sure thing, I LOVE to see the look of rapture on my partner’s face when he is being pleased by my tongue, lips, hands…I feel so turned on and horny bringing passion to my mate. My own ardor and lust is increased by my actions, and causes me intense enjoyment, often to the point of my own ejaculation! Fondling, caressing, licking, sucking, kissing, (Yes, the dreaded “fore-play” gasp.) all WONDERFUL ways for my expressive self to give gratification to my partner. But how often, after being satiated do men turn with renewed vigor, embrace us, and exclaim, “Let me give to you for the sheer joy of giving my love!”

Alas, past the point of his trying to reach 3rd base during the initial “exploratory phase” and make that touch-down for the home team…my masculine counterpart seems to have been bereft of the “giving” gene! I don’t know if it was short shifted to make room for the more prominent, get “a HEAD” gene? Or if I just have a knack for picking the supremely selfish males who delude themselves into believing that women feel a deep sense of satisfaction just servicing and (sperm-depository) taking care of their man! (Gag and next time, you had better believe I WON’T swallow!!) I even wonder if this may be MY fault, for coddling “his” pride with those fake orgasms when I was younger because I just couldn’t bear the thought of another 10 minutes of really bad, dry fumbling and didn’t want to ruin the man for the next female, just in case he might be having a bad night. Even gentle instruction can take on catastrophic proportions when dealing with the fragile male ego, ending an otherwise mediocre evening. “What do you mean, up, more, please, and follow my rhythm? Aren’t you satisfied with me?” Reverting to that little boy whining tone comes the inevitable heartbreaking cry, “Use the vibrator? Isn’t my penis big enough for you?” (deep sigh) As if that had anything to DO with it!

I spent 20 years married, I was faithful, and until the end when I was totally FED up with getting the “short” end of the (giggles) stick, (Let’s just say he made the minute man-premature ejaculation look like the energizer bunny in comparison!) I finally got tough and trained him how I wanted. With his new found talents he thought he would share the love…needless to say, I’m no longer married to the man! To hear them tell it, we are the ‘enemy’ of good sex, and only hot cam shots, porn, and deaf-mute sex slaves would be equal to the drives they have going, but I must disagree! It is a new era and women shouldn’t have to hide under a sheet with the pussy! We can communicate what we enjoy, our curiosity without fear of reprisal, and try everything once, if we don’t like it, we don’t have to do it again, right? I don’t want to be glared at like I’ve sprouted two heads when I ask to explore anal sex or bondage because of someone else’s insecurity. I most certainly do not wish to be distained because I admit to not having an orgasm or when I dare to express my desires more than three or four times a day! If I had cum, perhaps I wouldn’t be such a…nympho, as you put it?!! As if that is a BAD thing? Perhaps I will be alone for the rest of my old age…just me and my friend Bob…at least he doesn’t complain, leave crumbs in bed, fart, or a whole HOST of other obnoxious habits I won’t have to “learn” to live with! Best of all, I can almost guarantee that I’ll fall asleep with a smile on my face every time…if only I could teach him to do dishes!
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