My Question: I could not find the smallest anal toys on adult toy shop or adult online toys shop. Where I can find anal beads with 1/8 inch in its diameter? Which anal toy, which is less than 1/4 inch in its diameter, is best for beginner to start? I could not insert my index finger into my asshole for it is so tight even using a lot water based lub. I am also worry about damage from anal toys so that I am looking for anal toy with 1/8 inch in diameter but I could not find any on adult toy shop. Can I make one by myself? What kind of pleasure and feelings by inserting a anal toy in anus except fullness feeling/ Thanks.

Expert's Answer: Nancy, If you can't fit you finger in then your out of luck, But I find that hard to believe. You need to relax, and have your partner massage your anus with out trying to go inside just massge it on the outside with lots of lube and his fingers. Once you have completely relaxed he will feel it and while massaging around the hole his finger will slowly get sucked in. After a finger you can then move onto toys or beads. The graduated beads are the best they get bigger.

Another anal expert's answer me on anal toys safety:

Hello, Nancy,

Anal play, when it is done safe and sanely within common sense, is one of the most exciting experiences and will not harm the sphincter muscles, since most people do anal play only once or twice a week or even less in many cases.

The key is using toys, fingers or hands with plenty of lubrication for short increments of time, then the sphincter will retract again when finished. For extended sessions it is always wise to space out the next anal play for a week or so later, if you are concerned about it.

But the best measure of how things are going, is the pain threshold of the anus and rectum area, which will definitely let you know if you are doing harm! So pay attention to your body's reaction and don't over do it.

Dear Nancy:

As for the porn you watch, and the focus of your sexual feelings on your anus, both of those things are normal. You like watching anal sex and you like your own ass. Good for you! You have lots of company – tons of people feel the same way. This is a major erogenous area. Check out these books and films for more info:

• Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men, by Bill Brent • Anal Pleasure and Health, by Dr. Jack Morin • Anal Massage for Relaxation and Pleasure, from Dr. Joseph Kramer • Self Anal Massage, from Dr. Joseph Kramer

It’s great to know what turns you on and what brings you pleasure. You mentioned that you’re not currently having sex with other people, but if you’re having anal sex with yourself, consider playing with anal sex toys for beginner.

Dear Nancy:

The product you are looking at is for beginners. The smallest probe is very slim. I don't have any in stock at the moment so I can't tell you the exact dimensions, but I can tell you that is approx. the size of a wooden spoon handle.

Dear Nancy:

Our suggestions would be to USE LOTS OF LUBE. There is no natural lubrication in the anal area. Lube is very important - go slowly and tell you partner what feels good. You anal hole can expand to a great size - so don't worry about causing damage. Lube lube lube lube... I can't say this enough. Go SLOW.

The feeling for a woman is completely different for a man. Anal sex is great for a man's orgasm but less so for a women. Your orgasm will be intense and like nothing you have ever felt, for a man, however, it can be mind blowing.. Expect the anal plug to come out during orgasm due to the intense contractions.